The Language of Bullying:
The common theme of all bullying
is shame and contempt.
What is Bullying?
Definition: Repeated, health-harming mistreatment by one or more people by: verbal abuse, name calling, racial slurs or threats, intimidation, or humiliation work interference, sabotage or combination of the above.
Intentional—Always intentional, not accidental and is meant to cause harm
Hurtful—A negative behavior that may be physical, verbal or emotional. The types are varied, but they all cause harm to the victim.
Repetitive—Bullying happens repeatedly. Both the bully and the target know it will happen again so that, over time, it becomes terrorizing and traumatizing.
Imbalance of power & power is perception. Bullies typically don’t target others of equal or greater power. But don’t confuse power and authority. Authority is power entrusted, but not necessarily power perceived. It is NOT a personality conflict
An Invalidation of the Spirit
When a person is the victim of a crime the victim or target is recognized as a victim. There are laws, processes and systems created to offer help and support and more importantly to VALIDATE that their experience is real. (Not always, though, as we know the victim may be blamed as in the case of rape)
But when a person is bullied no systems exist yet. We are at the very early stages of recognizing what bullying is and that it is a very toxic and destructive scourge on our society.
Bullying is abuse – plain and simple – and without the validation of our experience it can’t be integrated into our life experience as real. Without integrating it we can’t move forward and heal.